

So wow, where to start? Haven’t blogged--or at least written in so very long. Where to begin? Maybe just jump right in--stream of consciousness type thing to get my feet wet again. Just start riffing like the cats used to...well, no one says that anymore; but that’s what I need to do. Just flow Lodo, let it out. Spell-check later. Formulate those paragraphs another time. For now its just close your eyes and fan the flame of your thoughts like those wildfires out in Colorado that burned like when we left ten years ago. Twelve years ago now--I know cause that’s how old Spiffy is. Born on the 4th of July 2000. Well maybe not born that day but that’s when we’ve always celebrated it since I got her from the rescue in August. So she had to be a couple months old when I first saw her in the pen marked BLACK DOGS and took her home. I don’t need to think about it, I know its been twelve years, which makes her eighty-four to you and me and poppa don’t like that cracker! Not sure that phrase really works--supposed to be Polly, right?; but no time for edits now. Gotta get my blog back on. My writing--and poppa don’t like that eighty-four year old cracker that’s got my girl Spiffy all depressed and confused and trying to break out the yard only to return badly shaken at odd times of the night. Dementia--who’d have thought a dog could suffer from that? You’d better get out here in the next couple weeks Rules told me last Friday and man I just cried and cried all day. Who wouldn’t? Or couldn’t? The freaking dog--oldest trick in the book to elicit sympathy. Almost cheating for a writer to work that angle. Bad taste even. But people do own dogs and dogs do die. And it now it looks like Spiffy’s gonna die. Soon, though in fairness it looked like we were gonna lose her back when she was only eight or so. Somewhere around that age--not that old. But like a middle-aged white man, dogs seem to go through a health issue when they hit eight or so and they either live through that and get to be old or go down hard and fast. And that’s how I thought she might go down. Hard and fast, cause she’d suddenly lost all the play in her spirit and her motor seemed to run way down. It was sumer of course--always summer! and all of a sudden too. Course she can’t tell you what’s on her eggshell mind or where it hurts or show any weakness cause it’d violate the canine code. Can’t show weakness. Can’t show weakness. They'll suck it up and oftentimes they can will themselves through some hardcore shit. And sometimes not. But you know they’re hurting if they’ll show you pain and I can’t help but wonder if she’s looking for me out there. Breaking out the backyard like when I first visited years ago. Just after I'd left her with Rules. Wandering the fox-lined medians of Denver. Oblivious. Or just not caring, ‘cause a dog wont care ‘bout herself if she’s got her person on her mind. One of her own in Spiffy’s case ‘cause she never saw herself as a dog. Even now. Dementia. What the fuck is that for a dog to get? A disease of a mind. Of higher cognitive function. That’s my girl for sure. Or was. Now it sounds like her mind’s been fried by the Denver heat. Eyes clouded by cataracts from the blazing mile-high sun that’s got the high country on fire like a dried-out soul. Yet it still can’t warm her brittle bones. But she’s not gone yet. No fast and furious for my girl despite being hit by that car when she was young. We got lucky--or so we thought. And still do! Of course we do, even if now she seems haunted by visions that compel her out the yard at night. Ventures that appear to leave her with more questions than answers. Unable to remember if the man who wore a hat and threw her frisbee and slept with her on the cool hard-wood floor was ever real or just imagined. A vague memory or a destiny? Maybe that’s what she wants to find out. What or who she’s looking for. There's a person’s out there--her person, and there’s no quit in that girl. Gotta find him. Gonna tell him...
Tell me what girl?
Or don't I want to know.